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Are you reading this wearing a shirt you made out of someone else's hair, sitting in an antique rocking chair with teeth marks all over it, while drinking a glass of pickle juice and listening to a recording of human breathing? Well then don’t ever send any version of the following texts.
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Enjoy the full, fleeting pleasure of ephemeral sexting.
7) I would make out with your shadow on a gravel driveway. 11) I want to put your Q-tips up my nose and go to sleep.